Friday, June 4, 2010

Le Louvre Part 2: Badasses

Another prominent theme connecting many of the subjects in the Louvre is general badassery. Below is a countdown of the top-five badasses I encountered in the museum. Unfortunately, the wing of 18th century French Rococo paintings was closed, and who knows how many badasses I could have found there.*

# 5: This guy.
Killing a giant snake with nothing but a rock and mighty biceps easily earns a place on this list.

#4: The Cheat with the Ace of Diamonds, by George de la Tour
Cheating at anything takes guts, but cheating at a high-stakes poker game without anyone noticing even though you're doing so rather conspicuously while cloaked in shadow (that's a terrible poker face) takes ... a lot more guts.

#3: Saturn

When I first walked by this little sculpture, I thought, "Aw, how cute, an old man kissing a baby." Turns out he's not kissing the baby -- he's eating it. Badass. Yep, yet another representation of my personal favorite classical motif, Saturn devouring his children. Chalk one up for the old man.

#2: Napoleon III

This is his drawing room. Anyone who squanders his country's money outfitting his apartment with gold-leafed cherubs on his ceiling that aren't even visible without the zoom on a camera must not care what other people think, and must, therefore, be a badass.

And finally, the number-one badass of them all. And he should really come as no surprise to you -- he's often considered the platonic ideal of the badass. He deserves to be on this list 12 times over. I mean, he's even starred in his own movie (although, it being produced by Disney probably brought down his street-cred. Just a little).

#1: Hercules
He totally has that "try me" posture. Here's a close-up:
Mess with me and I'll cut you. As in, I'll cut your head off -
I'm looking at you, Medusa (but not directly).

That snarl. The blade. The Edward Cullen coif. I would not want to mess with this guy -- he's one solid pillar of stone-cold attitude.
Perhaps he's compensating for something?

*Answer: none.

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