Lions in the Louvre

Spent five hours in the Louvre today. Pretty fantastic. I can't condense five hours and countless rooms into one post, so I'll stretch my report on the Louvre over the next few days in multiple posts, and each will cover one of the sophisticated, studied themes I picked up on in the museum.

Today's theme: LIONS!

My first picture is a prime example of the vibrant woven tapestries of the Orient.* It is also a prime example of how I have to sneakily take Myspace-style pictures of myself in the most desert museum rooms so people don't judge me as a total loser. Apparently, no one cares about the woven tapestries of the Orient.

You might think I look a little too cheerful standing next to a lion bleeding from it's mouth -- but I'm just following museum etiquette. All the savvy tourists tout a thumbs up in front of The Raft of the Medusa and flash a peace sign over the severed head of Saint so-and-so; exploring juxtaposition makes the art more meaningful.

My second attempt didn't turn out so well:

I'm obviously mighty afraid of those lion incisors. I kind of look a little like this guy:

Don't eat me, please! At least, not the rest of me.

Yes, that's supposed to be a lion.

But hey, at least I don't look like this guy:

Oh, look, it's Jamal the Jolly Lion! We promise, he usually looks super intimidating when guarding the kingdom gates - he's just laughing right now. You can tell by the flared nostrils.* Don't know what those Mesopotamians were thinking when they carved this browbeating beast. They were probably smoking something from one of their bong prototypes -

I saved the best for last -- here's a sculpture that will renew your faith in the power and beauty of the lion:

And that is what a lion is supposed to look like.

*I actually don't know what time period this tapestry is from or who made it. I don't even know if it would be considered a tapestry.

*This lion also knows how to smile with his eyes.